i've been fucking sucking haven't i. well, that is no more, i'm fasting now. and i'm gonna do it long term. i have a choir concert tonight and homework to do. but i've realized that if i wanna lose weight i NEED to start now, nobody is gonna come along and volunteer to take the 100+ pounds of flesh from my body so i gotta do it myself, NOW. my fingers feel like ice and i'm shivering but i'll be tiny when i finish. people will notice me on the sidewalk, ask my questions. and i'll tell them how lovely it is being 20 lbs lighter than they currently are.

so it's all up to me, isn't it. i've gotta deal with this weight thing once and for all, here i go.

now onto different notes. last two days i've binged, and i condoned it b/c i was fine last week, well not anymore, what the HELL did i do to deserve that doughnut, nothing, sit on my ass and whine. well, too bad all you get is air. i refuse to weight myself b/c i KNOW i'm gonna be HUGE, i can feel it, i'm not weighting myself for at least 2 weeks.

you all are so strong and all i wanna be is worthy of you guys,
Elle