this weekend was not friendly to me or my wish to be skinny. started friday, going to the library w/ my mom (she's a librarian) and i ate too much and didn't work out enough. Saturday got worse, went to the fair and ate my weight in fryed foods. and sunday i gave up all hope and just decided to finish the weekend by eating 2 bowls of pasta and sauce. then i took laxies and this morning i'm 273.6, all i can say is that i would be nothing w/o laxies.

this week IS GOING to be BETTER. i'm working out 3-4 times this week, and i will go to the local fair and i'm giving myself a choice.i will probably go 2-3 times, so i can have 2 fried things. (ie: elephant ear, fries, ect...) and that is it. i will walk all day and have a beautiful time w/ my friends when they get back from band camp this weekend.

how are you guys doing, is everything going well (i've had computer trouble this weekend also). i will try my best to read all your guys' blogs but i probably won't comment. sorry >.<

anywho, i was reading this blog (http://brakingthroughtotheotherside.blogspot.com/?zx=5ab9d66318143b44)and her post got me thinking, for a while i've been calling myself "questioning" and it's just that the more i think about it the more i think i am Bisexual, i have a friend (S, i've called her, tiny, blonde, sweet as sugar) and i think i have a crush on her. i know it won't work out b/c she has a BF and we would be a horrible match but i love holding her. when her BF makes her feel insecure or she feels lonely or scared she comes to me and i talk her down, tell her that she's CRAZY BEAUTIFUL, and that her BF is a fucking asshole for being so insecure himself that he makes her feel bad. i really don't wanna come out to anybody yet seeing as i have just discovered this myself and H didn't take it well when two of my other friends came out to her. (i'll call them L and J, they're dateing and soooo cute together) i'll wait probably till college (or if i get a GF/BF) to tell my family and friends. i just wanted to be honest in this blog.

love you all, you crazy beautiful ladies,
Elle