~Nessa! thankies for the awardness and being my inspiration. when i think i'm just not good enough or worth this weightloss, you help keep me going. You make me laugh and remind me that i'm so strong. your kind words nearly made me cry. go give her love if you don't already subscribe to her. she's amazing. (i don't know how to hyperlink on here yet *face-noob-palm* http://wordsfromanaspiringhumanbeing.blogspot.com/?zx=2fb93ceaf0d4ec9e)
ok, now the award says (bow to the almighty speaking award... oh; what, it doesn't speak, well then... getting on with it now)i need to tell 10 things about myself. here it goes.
1)I think i've been "un-healthy" about weight since i was about 12-14. i was always a "big girl" but i never felt different until i was in upper Middle School/Jr. High school. and now that i think about it, i may have never been "healthy" about weight, ever.
2)I used to adore horses. like hardcore, fanatical love. i wanted to be an equine veterinarian and i was gonna go to Penn. University and then live in Montana and be cowgirl barbie. Then i realized that life isn't a romance novel and that living in Montana would be frigid. and i hate the cold.
3)I now want to be a Cultural Anthropologist and travel the world studying different cultures and peoples. and though this means like 8+ years of college and multiple languages to master, i can not wait until i can put my plans into action.
4)I have had a plan for my life since i was about 5 years old. and even though i change the plan from time to time (ie: the career choice change above) i always have to have a plan. i'm not spontaneous, and surprises scare me. even something trivial like going to the grocery store, i have to know where i'm going, what i'm doing and what is along the way.
5)ohh, let's see... i have never honestly studied for anything in my life. i just can't bring myself to sit and stare back at notes/materials. i have a very good memory and can usually remember things for quite a while, so school is quite easy for me.
6)I'm actually quite the b!tch most of the time, it's just that i hide it well. i make rude comments and say really mean things in my head all the time. this is one of the reasons i hate the gym, because i feel like since i'm tearing people apart in my head others must be doing the same to me.
7)I find it really hard to form my own opinions when someone states their own. maybe i'm just a pack animal like that but i'm trying to work on it.
8.1)ohh, it's getting hard (that's what she said)...*awkward*... i'm sixteen years old, i dunno if everyone knows this, i'm pretty sure i posted it in my first post but, oh well.
and if you knew that one already here is option 2
8.2)i dunno if i'm just a freak like this or what but when i imagine/dream about ana, i see some kind of elfin/leprechaun hybrid. in my mind's eye she's shorter (5'0-ish) with pointy ears and red hair that looks similar to raggedy ann's. but she's pixie thin, and can fly without wings. ok, i'm gonna go certify myself now...
9)back to business,as of this moment i'm pretty sure both of my parents have BED (binge eating disorder) and so may my brother. that means i'm one royally f-ed up chick. i try really hard to fight my upbringing to drowned all my sorrows in food rich with trans-fat and sugar.
10)and finalito, i wish i had one tangible person, of whom i could touch and see and speak in person with, that knew my struggle here and was kind of a helping hand. as much as i love my friends, none of them would understand/be okay with me being an ana-girl (hehe, this is what i call us, ana-girls and ana-boys). i know i can talk to you guys, but i'd be nice to have a life-line out here in the "real world"
ok, so now i nominate 5 people les'see here,
i'm gonna give this to
1) Anise/Sometimes i am made of light (http://darkholeinmyhead.blogspot.com/): because she's so raw and powerful. she writes from the soul and we all know how hard that is.
2)Annamaria/ *Fake.Fading.Memories*(http://fakememoriesannam.blogspot.com/): because the girl is amazing. i haven't been following for all that long but i enjoy reading every post
3)MaryJane/HurtSoGood (http://hurtsogoodmaryjane.blogspot.com/?zx=51a56beb95995c7d): because she is hil-fucking-larious. she's recently come back after a hard time of things so go send love.
4)PerfectOxymoron/PerfectOxymoron (http://perfect-oxymoron.blogspot.com/): Because we share a love of anime and because i love her blog.
i'm giving back to someone who's already had before, sorry if such actions are not-allowed but fudge that
5) like Sick B*tch/Mich (http://s1ckb1tch.blogspot.com/): because her Paint drawlings make me giggle. and she's really honest about her life and world.
okey dokey, i'mma leave you ladies now,
love to the upteenth degree,
Elle
p.s
i love lolitas, i swear i was born 2 centuries too late.
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